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Your good morning texts turn into not hearing from him for days. You might be dating a guy right now who suddenly pulls away every time things seem to be going well between the two of you, leaving you to wonder if your relationship is doomed, or if there's something you can do about it. There are a of reasons why guys pull away when they like you, such as fear of commitment, loss of interest, doubts about what they want, or unresolved feelings about an ex. Understanding some of the most common scenarios that arise at various stages of relationships will help you decide how to respond and get your healthy relationship back on track.
The first thing to know is that the one reason men pull away from good women they seemed to be falling in love with is fear. Okay, but fear of what? You were having so much fun together! You have so much in common and every date was full of laughter, flirtation, and those butterflies in your stomach.
Then, just when you believed you could really see this going somewhere, he started to pull away. When you do speak or see him, he seems distant, if not a bit cold, and you have no idea what happened or what you might have said to cause this shift. Sometimes his fear has nothing to do with you at all but is based on negative experiences in his past.
He may simply be too emotionally immature to handle the depths of intimacy you were entering together. Or he may still be worrying about issues from a relationship in which they didn't share the same value. Or maybe she was never physically attracted to him or thought his personality was too over-the-top, and he's concerned that you feel the same way. Not to over-generalize, but men often have trouble pinpointing exactly what is that's turning them off. Additionally, many men pull away because the idea of a serious long-term relationship freaks them out, plain and simple.
This can be because of past heartbreak, insecurity, or trauma stemming from childhood. You could be a high-value woman and he would still just want to be single at the moment. It's not your fault, but it happens. Unfortunately, this can also happen at the very moment you're realizing that you're developing real feelings for them! They begin worrying about potential outcomes of the relationship, and this affects their behavior. In doing so, you become more attached to the happy outcomes you hope for and begin feeling anxious at the thought of losing out on your dream now that it feels so close.
Generally speaking, people don't react positively to shifts from spending time with someone who has a fun, charming personality to being with someone who always seems to be searching for reassurance. This often happens without you even realizing it, but it changes your vibe. He might not be able to pinpoint what it is exactly, but he might begin thinking of you as clingy. When a guy feels you're trying too hard to make things official and tie him down, he might panic and pull away. Being truly confident keeps you safe from appearing to be needy or clingy, which are characteristics that may cause someone to run for the hills, especially if it's early in a budding relationship.
When a man pulls away, your first line of action is switching your focus away from him and back to the task of creating and living the life of your dreams. Make headway on your professional projects and goals. Go to the gym and get those endorphins flowing. Spend more time having fun with your friends. Try new things. Social media can be an incredible tool for presenting yourself in a positive light — just be sure the light you're presenting yourself in is authentic.
You need to be a challenge. Instead of obsessing on why he doesn't seem as interested as he did, make sure he sees images of you and how life with you could be that make you practically impossible for him to resist. By the way, this isn't something you should stop doing once your relationship gets back on track. The way to make a man fall in love and stay in love with you is by maintaining a fantastic life he longs to be part of. Men who pull away aren't used to being called out on this type of behavior.
In fact, no one is. Ending your message like this would put all the power back in his hands. You want to assert yourself with him while also reminding yourself that you are in control of what happens in your own life. So be careful with your wording and make sure not to phrase things in a way that gives away your power. Men, just like women, find the opposite of clingy behavior extremely attractive. The more he pulls away, the closer you'll want to get.
When your last twenty text messages and phone calls were left on read or unanswered, you'll want to keep trying until you finally get a response. It's understandable that his distance feels so incredibly frustrating. Give him space and avoid initiating conversations for a while. If you want the chance to get the ball rolling on a relationship with him again, avoid making this common mistake. But nobody wants to talk to someone who makes them feel suffocated. Let some time pass before reaching out again whether through call or text.
Focus on yourself right now. Word travels, you know. It's important to not allow your emotions to make you act in a disrespectful manner toward the person you have your eye on. Above all, the fact that he isn't picking up should never result in you insulting or threatening him.
Making this kind of irreparable mistake may give him a real reason to never contact you again. And when you do speak, stay focused on keeping the dialogue constructive. Finding happiness was never easy, so don't let this period deter you from your happily ever after. Alex Cormont, founder of French Relationship Expert , is an expert in dating and relationships based in Miami, FL, who works with women to guide them to find the right man and have the relationship they've always dreamt of.
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The Real Reasons Men Pull Away When They Are Falling In Love