It s not about love

Added: Naudia Bezanson - Date: 17.03.2022 09:03 - Views: 37482 - Clicks: 7682

After years spent speaking with couples before, during and after marriage; and of talking to parents and children struggling with their relationships, I am convinced of the partiality of the definition. Love should be seen not as a feeling but as an enacted emotion. To love is to feel and act lovingly. Too many women have told me, bruises visible on their faces, that the husbands who struck them love them.

Since they see love as a feeling, the word hides the truth, which is that you do not love someone whom you repeatedly beat and abuse. You may have very strong feelings about them, you may even believe you cannot live without them, but you do not love them. The first love mentioned in the Bible is not romantic love, but parental love Genesis Between human beings, love is a relational word.

Yes, you can love things that do not love you backā€”the sky or a mountain or a painting or the game of chess. But the love of other people is directional. And real love is not only about the feelings of the lover; it is not egotism. It is when one person believes in another person and shows it.

In Fiddler on the Roof , when Tevye asks Golde whether she loves him after a quarter century of marriage, her wry answer is exactly on point:. Of course it is possible to perform all sorts of duties for someone and feel little or nothing for them. Love is not about being hired help. Love is not an obligation done with a cold soul. But neither is it a passion that expresses itself in cruelty, or one that does not express itself at all.

The feeling must be wedded to the deed. We would have a healthier conception of love if we understood that love, like parenting or friendship, is a feeling that expresses itself in action. What we really feel is reflected in what we do. at letters time. Getty Images. By Rabbi David Wolpe. TIME Ideas hosts the world's leading voices, providing commentary on events in news, society, and culture. We welcome outside contributions. Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect the views of TIME editors.

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It s not about love

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It's Not About Love