How to pick up a woman for a threesome

Added: Romero Estelle - Date: 18.02.2022 00:32 - Views: 30774 - Clicks: 3722

We have lots of great conversations, we'd love you to us, . Threesomefilter: How does a couple pick up another woman? June 3, PM Subscribe We'd really like to have a threesome with another woman. Where do we even begin? My girlfriend and I have a wonderfully healthy and relationship. We also openly recognize that we both have fluid sexual orientations i.

We are both comfortable with the idea, have talked about boundaries and comfort levels, etc we have also discussed having a threesome with another man, but have decided to start with a second woman. The problem is: how do we make this happen? Is this actually true?

How do we find someone interested? I always feel that, no matter how genuine I am, I will simply look like a douchebag. So what do we do? Is that weird? Do I let my girlfriend do the talking? Does anyone have any experience with this? I really think this is as easy as socializing together and cultivating a healthy air of receptivity. And yes, you CAN just bring this up with someone at a bar. If you've had a pleasant evening and have been chatting with someone and you and your wife have exchanged "the al", there's really nothing wrong with saying, "How would you like to continue this conversation at our place?

What's the worst that can happen? She'll say no. I think the you're going to find online will probably be every bit as disappointing as you'd imagine. I can tell you that most of the people looking for threesomes online are couples. You do the math. I think the virtue of things like Craigslist and AdultFriendFinder is that those sites as well as real-world communities centered on swinging allow you to just get it right out there, the fact that you're looking for a woman for a threesome. In the face-to-face world, it is virtually impossible to come up with a way to broach this so that you don't look like sleazy pervs.

If you meet someone and let it evolve organically starting with a friendship in which she really likes you and your girlfriend what if she's massively disgusted with your proposal? You invested time in cultivating her as a friend, and then you ended up looking like a manipulative jerk who only befriended her to groom a potential threesome partner.

I think that, even in the most enlightened, forward-thinking parts of the country, most people will find your proposal off-putting and will think you're a creep if you propose it to them in a face-to-face setting. Caveat: I have absolutely no experience in this realm, nor any interest, by the way. How do you or how have you, in the past hook up with someone for casual one-on-one sex? How does your girlfriend or how has she, in the past hook up with someone for casual one-on-one sex?

You do more-or-less what works for you in that context, just doing it together and it's best if she takes the lead in approaching potential partners, because that lowers the potential squick factor a lot. And you expect a lower rate of success, because you need to find someone who a is into the idea, b finds your GF attractive, c finds you attractive, and who a your GF finds attractive, and b you find attractive. That's a lot of variables, so the odds of making a connection are lower. No need to make this caveat, it shows in your answer. Generally, in MOST places, respectful propositions from someone with whom you've established a friendly rapport are not going to transform them into a "sleazy perv" right before your eyes.

If someone's not interested, they're often still rather flattered or amused. What's more likely than being regarded with disgust is being regarded with fascination -- people who turn you down will often be very curious about your relationship and want to know more about how you ended up this way together. I have to respectfully disagree with hermitosis Depending on the person, their background, etc.

But hopefully since you are talking about cultivating friendships first you would get a feel for that long before propositioning her But yes, the prudish, Puritan views of relations does still exist, even in Oregon. Then again there are the more risque-minded people who WOULD ask more questions even if uninterested. That said, AFF, Craigslist, etc. At least then you're being very upfront with what it is you're looking to get out of the relationship.

But given what you've said, I'd suggest the club route first. Dan Savage always says to avoid hooking up with friends and instead hire an escort. I'm pretty sure there are escorts who specialize in this sort of thing, and that it would be fun. I know that I and most people I know would a not be interested, and b probably be too uncomfortable, from that point on, to remain friends with the proposer. Forget the club route. Try FetLife. Your local alternative rag Willamette Week and their ilk likely has classified that deal with this. You can be as selective as you want, and take as much time to vet as you want.

Just be prepared to say, or hear, "no" in a graceful way if, upon meeting, the vibe is not there for you or the other woman. I feel like almost every time I go to a burlesque club, no matter how conservatively dressed I am or how little I'm feeling it, a couple propositions me for a threesome. So, uh, try a burlesque club? At least you know upfront that a female customer's idea of a fun time can involve watching naked girls, and she's probably more sex-positive than average to boot.

For the record, I'm bi -- and apparently someone's picking up on that wavelength -- but threesomes and random hookups aren't my idea of fun. Also, if you let the girl approach while the guy goes to get everyone drinks or something, it's less creepy. The girl, like me, may still decline politely -- but she's less likely to be skeeved out. Think of it this way, if you've got the stones to do a threesome, you ought to have the stones to get rejected quite a bit. Get out there in a bar, start introducing yourself and your girlfriend, buy some people some drinks, and see what happens.

Maybe people are kinkier than I think they are. Get out there in a bar, start introducing yourself and your girlfriend Have the girlfriend do the introductions. Seriously, this makes all the difference in the world. If the girlfriend approaches, you potential 3rd don't feel like she's just going along with it grudgingly. Basically, any unescorted women in any setting where women are disrobing burlesque show, strip club or scantily dressed nightclub is automatically assumed to be interested in a threesome. So that might be the easiest place to start; worst case scenario, you'll blend into the static.

Louis Theroux episode on swingers posted by acro at PM on June 3, Asking someone face to face might be easier in a vacation destination. I find people to be more open to this sort of thing when they don't have to go home and clean or go to work the next day, like its a vacation from their normal sex too. So maybe take a nice tropical vacation this summer? Only to people who are so opposed to threesomes that they're incredibly narrow-minded about the sexual exploits of others.

Yes, you'll probably hit on a quite a few women who ultimately aren't interested, but I doubt you'll deeply offend them by essentially admitting that both you and your girlfriend are into them. The novelty of the request and the additional presence of your girlfriend usually mitigates lots of the sleaze inherent in just a dude asking a lady to go home with him. Maybe I've been in enlightened, forward-thinking New York for too long, but most of the resolutely monogamous women I know here would be flattered at the very least by such a proposition, if also a bit flabbergasted.

I'd suggest having your girlfriend approach these women and strike up conversations with them first, and then you can if they seem to have decent chemistry. Then both of you can subtly flirt with the lady in question while also making no secret about your status as a couple. Honestly, I've been propositioned before and this is the point when it's possible to guess the couple's intentions before they hash out their proposition.

Do this at a bar, but not one you frequent all the time. Do this after two drinks, but not six. The burlesque club suggestion is fantastic idea. Your girlfriend should be the one doing the talking. If you take the lead in 'hitting on' women for the both of you, the probability is very high that you'll be dismissed as skeezy "Oh yeah, my girlfriend's totally into it too, trust me".

Initiate your face to face interactions at clubs or sex-positive events. Steer the conversation in risque directions to gauge the comfort level of your new friend--if she plays along, she may continue playing And again, let your girlfriend lead. Women can easily pick up on flirtatious behavior from other women, even if they're as outwardly innocent as compliments or briefly touching an arm. For a bi-curious woman entering into a threesome, having a connection with the woman is likely the most important variable for her.

If the evening goes well, your girlfriend could propose a little three-way kiss good night. Don't write off the online options--as stated above, it removes the 'is she open to it? I know that I and most people I know would If you've met someone at a bar and hung out with them for an hour or so, it's not like you've invested a whole lot into becoming "friends" with them anyway.

Which makes it especially easy for both you and the other party to move on to other people if rejection is on the menu. If you're talking about someone whom you've met and hung out with a few times, how is this different than if you met another single person, whom you thought of as just a friend, who turned out to have feelings for you? It's just the risk we take as social, sexual creatures. It sounds like you'd consider these advances to be calculated or predatory in nature, but for most people that's just how we get to know people.

If, after certain facts have come to light, you decide you don't want to know this person, it's not the end of the world for either party. My partner and I have had the best in situations where one of us has individually struck up friendships with someone and invited them to some upcoming social event where so they can meet the other partner.

This is a pretty standard invitation to extend whether you are interested in someone sexually or platonically. At that later point, when they've met the other partner, if the judiciously correct amount of flirting has taken place, it becomes pretty obvious to everyone involved where things are headed.

Some people are amazingly forthright, others are a little more coy and want to be wooed. Some fade from sight, either not making the connection or not being interested. The best part about all of this strategy is that it's not a scheme to make sex happen -- it's a scheme to broaden our social circle and explore the vibes that we get from different people. The fact that this sometimes in sexual encounters is an exciting and important feature of our networking as a couple, but it's not our main agenda.

If someone reacted with disgust, I wouldn't take it personally -- everyone has their own hang-ups. But a polite demurral is the worst thing we've ever encountered, and as long as we continue to behave like real, thinking, feeling people then I can't imagine that will ever really happen. Anonymous, I don't know how open you plan to be with your friends about this feature of your relationship, but you should know that word tends to travel -- in a good way.

Curious people on the periphery of your social circle may approach you independently if they've heard that you're tastefully, discreetly in search of folks to experiment with. If you go the Craigslist route: please do NOT post on w4w. The regions I've seen, you'll get reported to hell and back instantly, because that is just not what people are there for.

When trying something new and potentially dangerous, it can be helpful to have professional there to minimize potential difficulties. I'm sure Portland has a few sex positive orgy parties. Just go check one out and see if its your scene.

Its a place full of people looking for the same thing you are possibly , and there is no obligation to do anything but look around. I know quite a few couples in NYC that are in to polyamorous stuff and they do the parties - also a good way to just build a community of friends and acquaintences that are interested in threesomes, etc. I kind of disagree with this -- in my experience, a burlesque club's atmosphere is totally different and considerably better funnier, classier, more enthusiastic, more "rah rah third-wave feminism" than a strip club's.

And I'm not sure I've ever gone "unescorted"; it's usually with a small mixed group.

How to pick up a woman for a threesome

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How to Find a Third Partner for a Threesome