How to get my wife to play with my ass

Added: Lace Ringgold - Date: 04.01.2022 05:24 - Views: 43501 - Clicks: 5694

We have lots of great conversations, we'd love you to us, . Should I tell my wife about my new fetish? March 9, PM Subscribe Should I try to ask my wife to let me try a sex act that I know she'll think is gross? My wife and I have a good sex life. We're both attracted to each other and love having sex.

I love her and am really hot for her and we have really good sex, but I also have a very strong libido and masturbate when she's either not around or unwilling, and she's cool enough to be fine with that. We're totally in love. I want to be stimulated that way while I have sex with her, but I know for a fact she'll be grossed out by it.

I brought up having anal sex with her a long time ago, and she thought the idea was gross "there's poop in there" was I think the biggest deal. So there's no way she'll want to reach back and stimulate me that way. If she's grossed out with me doing it to her, then I'm pretty sure no way she'll do it to me. I could do it to myself, but I'm worried it would freak her out and make the sex not as good for her, which is the most important thing to me. But the deal is that I feel like it's wrong that there's something that I'm enjoying without her, like it's the kind of secret you shouldn't keep from your wife.

I'm not going to try to talk her into it, because I know she's really disgusted with the whole idea, but I feel like keeping that a secret is wrong. On the other hand, if she wouldn't like it, I feel like maybe bringing it up would do more harm than good. Should I tell her, and if I should tell her, how?

The idea really scares the hell out of me. I don't want to change the way she sees me. I dunno. Just 'cause she doesn't want you to do it to her, in my experience, doesn't mean she wouldn't be okay with doing it to you. Yes you do. You want her to see you as someone who likes a finger in his ass, and you want to change how you see your wife as a woman who is into that. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, and not broaching this will eat at you for the rest of your life.

And if you're worried about her thinking you're gay or something, a gay man would not prefer to be fucking a woman while this is happening. That proof is in the pudding. This is fairly commonplace in sexplay so I wouldn't even think about it too much as a fetish meaning sexualizing something not sexual - for a lot of people buttplay is in the realm of stuff normally considered sexy but I digress and think more about it being something you're interested in. Prostate stimulation is really pretty terrific as far as orgasms go and that should maybe be your talking point when you bring it up with your wife.

A few more suggestions - there are ways to get around the "there's poop in there" issue if that's really all it is. While something in your butt [or hers] that is not a body part could, depending on your personal preference, be weirder than finger exploration, this could also get around the weirdness of feeling that stuff was 1. If you were, say, a rubber fetishist and couldn't get off without thinking about your wife in a rubber apron and were secretly thinking about that while you and she had sex, that would be a secret that was maybe not helpful.

Having your own "this is how I touch me when I make me feel good" practices is not a bad secret, in my own opinion. I mean, if you were my boyfriend I'd sort of like to know that sort of thing because it's fun to know what turns the other person on, but if you know already that they don't like that [and you might want to explore a little more with your wife, she may not be as against it as you think] it's okay to do what makes you feel good in your own private spaces. So, if you're not raring to tell her RiGHT NOW, I'd wait until it either comes up while you guys are idly fooling around or when you're just talking about "hey you know what I found that I really like?

In the meantime, yay for discovering new things about your body, aren't they wonderful things? Also, what you describe isn't really fetish as you suggest in your title , in the precise application of the word an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression. Ah, tell her what you just told us - that you were curious and tried it and liked it if you say something quick, before months or years pass, it won't have time to become your burning, festering secret - and tell her you know she's grossed out about the idea herself but would she mind if you did it to yourself?

Wear a glove or a condom on your finger if it makes her feel better: small steps, etc. You want her to see you as someone who likes a finger in his ass No he doesn't, the OP stated his wish in this regard. Jesus, just because you asked your lover to stick her finger in your arse doesn't mean that you somehow typecast and it will be some insomountable hurdle.

Like there is not getting over it. Try it on her first, as a way of braking the taboo. Suggest a latex glove if she thinks it's gross. Try it on her first, as a way of braking the taboo Can we just clarify too that you'll want to talk about trying it on her before going and doing it? I'm sure this is what mattoxic meant; just the way it was written was slightly unclear. A surprise finger up her bum probably won't help your case. Seconding the idea that she might not be grossed out by penetrating you with a gloved hand or with a toy Also, this is not such an unusual thing and makes anatomical sense -- unless she is pretty sheltered, she's probably heard of butt plugs, etc.

Good luck! Maybe point her at the Aneros a prostate-stimulation device and say you'd like to try it out sometime? I'm the one who always suggests that we use it. It's hands-free, batteryless and works off your body's own muscle contractions, so she won't have to get anywhere near it if she's squeamish. You can wear it while you have intercourse, and she wouldn't even know it was in except for the part where you're moaning and groaning and your eyes are rolling back in your head. No, you shouldn't "try" to ask. You should absolutely ask.

How about this latex toy? IF there's poo up there it can be easily washed. Just make sure that you that you frame it in such a way that she can decline gracefully. You don't want her thinking for the rest of her life that you're unhappy unless you get [whatever]. The way you posted it above is pretty good.

It was really amazing. Would you mind exploring this with me? I promise there will be no personal encounters with poo. Unless you want them. That's easy to deal with, just search your local pharmacy for "suppositories".

Clean your butt nicely first a lite enema and then a shower , have a set of latex gloves and some lube nearby, be sweet about it, and ask! You could always buy some finger cots to take away some of the poop ick factor. Should I try to ask my wife to let me try a sex act that I know she'll think is gross? Ya'll have the rest of your lives together, you might as well try out every sexual fantasy you have, otherwise it's going to be a long and boring life. I have two cold showers and one hot one: 1 Of course you should ask. What is the point of a wife or a lover if you can't ask for something you would like to try?

If you're having anxiety that this makes you somehow gay, please don't. It's a very sensitive zone in a very sensitive area, and many most? If you don't ask her, and try to bury this inside your brain, then this thing that again, is very minor is going to grow and grow in your brain until it BECOMES a big deal. If you ever get to a point where you're not only not getting what you want from your lover, but you're actually afraid to ask for it this is a blinking "trouble ahead" light. Fix it before your anxiety turns into bitterness or regret.

This is about as tame as it comes. Maybe get some latex gloves for her? I suggest a toy. That way "she's" not doing it, the toy is. I feel like it's wrong that there's something that I'm enjoying without her, like it's the kind of secret you shouldn't keep from your wife. There's nothing wrong with enjoying things like that.

I think you're extending the "don't have sex with another person" taboo to "don't have sex acts with yourself that your wife doesn't like. This is, to you, sort of gross and sort of kinky. Many people enjoy this exact thing. Many people think it's mildly icky or not icky at all, very erotic or not somuch, and not kinky at all, and surely some people think it's OMG horrifying.

It doesn't seem to have anything to do with sexual orientation. You should talk to her about your wish to have anal stimulation and penetration during sex. Things that may want to consider: butt plug, latex finger cot, glove, lube; in some positions, it could be a difficult reach for her. There are lots of nerve endings there, men get extra stimulation if the prostate gets involved, and many women enjoy this even without a prostate. Remind her that you think she's really sexy, you're so turned by her, you want her to be part of your sexual exploration.

Remind yourself that it's okay for her to say no. I wouldn't try it on her first. I'd bring it up, gently and politely, possibly in a non-sexual setting. The suggestions to get sex toys and clean yourself up first are great. But if she's stated that she's not interested in anal sex, that probably means that she doesn't want her own butt played with--respect that. I go thereon her when my wife and I are making love, and it seems to ramp up her enjoyment a LOT. But I can't talk about that specifically with her. So I just do it every so often and it's fine, as long as it does not get talked about.

But to ask for it, fine. She has the right to say yes or no, and hopefully you two can move on. And there is a glass that is over half full here, it seems, so that is a good thing. Maybe so, if she has a real aversion to feces. But you can ask. This is a really normal thing.

I mean, lots and lots of very vanilla monogamous opposite-sex couples do this all the time. It's not a "fetish" any more than oral sex is a "fetish". I imagine it will be in Reader's Digest sometime within the next ten years. So maybe start with this? Oh, you don't know what that is? Well, there's an About. Seconding jessamyn--this is just barely non-vanilla as a sex maneuver, somewhere in between French vanilla and lemon sorbet. It's not like you suddenly discovered 1 guy 1 cup.

If you rhapsodize about the big shiny orgasm you had when you did it to yourself, I would hope she'll be eager to try it on you soon. Work up to this by setting a scene in which you've just emerged from a hot shower all squeaky clean. Finger cots are a good call too, though a tad clinical and prostate examine-y. Have fun! One caveat: I read this week in the Metro about a woman worried that her boyfriend was gay because he asked for this. If your wife is the type to be concerned that, rather than a finger, you would prefer a penis in your butt, then I suggest you have a little work to do before talking to her about this.

Maybe she could get a small strap on and experience what it feels to be the penetrater versus the penetrated.

How to get my wife to play with my ass

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How can I get my wife to play with my butt during sex?