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Posted August 2, Reviewed by Kaja Perina. The NYU Medical Center defines a passive-aggressive individual as someone who "may appear to comply or act appropriately, but actually behaves negatively and passively resists. Most pathological passive-aggressive people manifest a least several of the following behaviors on a regular basis, while remaining largely unaware or unconcerned with how their actions impact others.
There are overlaps in some of the below. Examples: Negative gossip. Negative orientation. Habitual criticism of ideas, conditions, and expectations. Addressing an adult like . Possible Intention s : Putting others down to feel dominant and superior. Seeking a false sense of importance by being persistently critical. Competing for power and control in relationship. Disguised Hostile Humor. Examples: Sarcasm. Veiled hostile joking — often followed by "just kidding. Possible Intention s : Express hidden anger , disapproval, or rejection towards an individual.
Distain towards an individual for what she or he represents. Using humor as a weapon in an attempt to marginalize another's humanity, dignity and credibility. Examples: The silent treatment. The invisible treatment. Social exclusion. Sullen resentment. Indirectly hurting something or someone of importance to the targeted person.
Possible Intention s : Express anger or resentment. Purposely creating negative and disconcerting environment. Putting the targeted recipient off balance. Attempting to create insecurity. Examples: Lying. Excuse making. Two faced. Deliberate button pushing. Negative or discomforting surprises. Blaming the victim for causing their own victimization. Deformation of the truth. Mixed messages to keep recipient off balance. Strategic disclosure or withholding of key information. One-sided bias of issue.
Possible Intention s : Deception and Intrigue. Avoidance of responsibility. Manipulate facts of the issue. Distort perception for easier persuasion and control. Misdirection to take focus off of the real issue. Guilt -Baiting. Examples: Unreasonable blaming.
Manipulate and coerce the recipient into ceding unreasonable requests and demands. Examples: Procrastination. Withholding resources or information. Unnecessary bureaucracy and red tape. Broken agreements. Lack of follow through. Possible Intention s : Avoiding responsibility, duty, and obligations. Maintaining power and control by imposing many hoops to jump through. Passive competitiveness making life more difficult for others. Examples: Stubbornness. Inefficiency, complication, incompletion, or ruination of task. Possible Intentions s : Power struggle.
Passive combativeness. Examples: Purposely undermine tasks, projects, activities, deadlines or agreements. Causing harm or loss materially. Wrecking positive chemistry interpersonally, socially or professionally. Deliberate disclosure of harmful information. Deliberate obstruction of communication and endeavors. Possible Intention s : Covertly express anger, hostility, and resentment towards an individual, group, or organization.
Channeling unspoken gripe or unresolved past issues. Personal, social, or professional jealously. Subtly administering punishment or revenge. Examples: Quitting. Deliberate failure. Possible Intention s : Hurting another by hurting oneself. Aiming to frustrate, frighten, or pain someone.
Appeal to sympathy. Wanting and needing attention. A cry for help on deeper issues might require strong intervention. Examples: Exaggerated or imagined personal issues. Exaggerated or imagined health issues. Deliberate frailty to elicit sympathy and favor. Playing weak, powerless, or martyr. Although passive-aggressive people are not pleasant to deal with, there are many effective skills and strategies you can employ to minimize their damage and gain their cooperation , while increasing your own confidence , composure, and problem-solving prowess.
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Passive-Aggressive Behavior In Your Relationship